Hi Mark,
It's kinda funny that as agoraphobics we're expected to attend appointments to help us! I've missed a few in my time and ocassionally have been chastised for it despite trying my hardest. We can only do our best to get there. Also, I've attended some pretty important therapy sessions but have been unable to leave the loo and walk upstairs to the the therapy room. Other times I've been so distracted by anxiety that I've been unable to concentrate and benefit from the therapy. The wierdest situatuations of all have been the times that i've arrived for an appointment, only to find myself overcome with happyness that I've made it there! These things happen to a recovering agoraphobic I guess. I sound quite negative but there have also been many times whee I've been OK at appointments and found them to be quite beneficial.... I just mention the negative ones first because they're interesting!
Overall, I'd say that it's really important to push myself to get there. Repetition often makes it more comfortable and i suppos that some therapists may argue that it's useful to bring your anxiety 'into the room'.
It's great that you were out on the bus. That must have taken a real effort and you should be proud for doing that. I know it may seem like it was all for nothing, but every little helps! I've made big improvements in the past and have also seen those improvements seemingly eroded away. Looking back now, I can say that my improvements were never really lost completely. For me, it's just been a case of two steps forward and one and three and a quarter steps back! I wish it was easier but my recovery, so far, has been far from linear.
In my opinion, CBT is a very worthwhile treatment. Good Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has helped me to make excellent progress.
Martin.
