up to date OCD

[Neil And Pray]

Now ive read this message thru 4 or 5 times or more to Check if its perfect or not or that im happy with it. Anyone else get OCD around emails & texts etc checking them several times like a perfectionism thing ?? I also use journalling software and its the same with that also.

I knew i had ocd for some time coz of checking rituals in my home before i go out and before i sleep at night, but it was only earlier this year thru talking with a friend who also has OCD that obsessional thinking (ruminating) is also a part of OCD, and there are often times when that part of it is far greater in my life than the checking.. Also some of the checking is so normal for me i would deny it,  like the perfectionism around emails and texts and other things. It seems to filter in to virtually everything i do in life so im not always aware that the behaviour isnt normal because to me it is normal due to it being so familiar. Also it seems to be about being in a state of anxiety often.

[Capricorn]

Hi Neil....I know my OCD is better then it used to be but I still get bad days.

 Mine is mainly fear of dirt and germs and I have to do certain things before I can feel "safe and secure", I also have the ruminating(sometimes scary thoughts). I know logically it's all ridiculous but it still creates anxiety and a lot of fear.

 This morning I saw a mark on a wall (my place is spotless and I live alone now)....yet my thinking was along the lines of "Where did that mark come from" etc etc to even more ridiculously "Maybe I should clean the whole flat again". I start wiping everything and faffing around cleaning stuff, it sometimes brings tears of utter frustration. It's a waste of flippin time and energy and makes me angry.

Not long ago I read that OCD is closely linked to BDD and that would also explain the bad body image thing I get loads as well. So now I am coming to the Forum meet and a BDD meet, there is also an OCD meet on a Wednesday (1st of month at MIND). Honestly when I read all this back I find it scary, just wish I could feel "normal" whatever normal is. Maybe it doesn't exist.

[stresspuppy]

I think normal most certainly doesn't exist, and I think that's a very good thing. Think a lot of folk out there pretend to be normal cos they know nothing different. Can you imagine living in a world like 'Stepford Wives'. Vive le difference!!