Making and receiving telephone calls

[hazza_123]

Does anyone else find this difficult?

It's got to the point now where I avoid making phone calls if I can.

I don't have a problem making calls to people I know well like my mum, dad and my brother and close friends. I seem to find it more difficult making calls to people I don't know. I.e. British Gas to pay a bill, or making a general enquiry about something.

I find I get very nervous before I make these type of calls and have to stand up and walk around whilst doing so as I experience so much anxiety. A lot of the time when I speak my voice will sound weak and nervous. I wish I could just be like most people and be relaxed when making a phone call. I think the nervousness/anxiety comes from a fear of sounding nervous when speaking, or making a mistake when speaking/messing my words up, and being judged by the person on the other end.

If you have suffered from this can recommend any helpful tips? (Apart from avoiding telephones altogether!).

If you are on any medication have you found this has helped reduce your anxiety when making phone calls? I wonder whether I should give Cipralex a go again. I took it for about 3 months last time and didn't notice any reduction in anxiety whatsoever. The same with Citalopram... Perhaps I need to try a higher dose as I was only taking 20mg, and I'm quite a tall/big guy (not sure if that makes a difference).

Help!

[Noisy]

Hi Hazza,
Yeah, I often find phone calls a bit intimidating. Experience has taught that putting off making the call is the worst thing that I can do..... but I still do!  I try to take time to be really prepared and the anxiety just builds and builds.

When I'm feeling in one of my more rational moods, I think about all the phone calls from strangers I've ever had; the people I speak with come across in many different ways so it's no big deal if I do sound a bit nervous. I mean, I've heard some 'normal' people struggling to find the right words to say what they mean so, in the grand scheme of things, it's no big deal if I do.

Actually, most if not all of my phone calls seem to go OK despite my nervousness. There's a thing in CBT where they ask you 'where's the evidence?' and all the evidence seems to suggest that my calls go alright. 

How do your calls go? Do you think that the other people really notice?

[robtheyuppy]

Sorry to be bringing this thing back to life but it piqued my interest.
   Hazza, I had exactly the same problem, and still get the odd twinge when picking up that phone or making a call. As you said, it's that fear of judgement (self-imposed and/or from others) which presents the biggest problem. In my case I think it's to do with being a perfectionist: there's no way you're going to have a flawless phone call and this just makes you more flustered as the call goes on. After a bad call that's all you'll remember, and you won't want to pick up the damn phone ever again.
   But fear not! When you said you wanted to be able to do it like everyone else, I felt compelled to let you know that the problem is very common. I worked in a customer service call centre until recently, and in plenty of those inbound calls I could tell that the person on the other end wasn't comfortable on the phone. You are certainly not alone! Keep it in mind that these operators or whoever you need to call aren't thinking any less of you: they deal with it all the time and it's their job to make you feel at ease on the phone.
   Finally, the best way to get through this sort of thing is just to bite the bullet and do it. Make calls: keep making them until you think you're going to chew through the cord. Eventually you'll be desensitised to it. In my past job I didn't have a choice: I came in one day and found out that we were moving from office work to telephony cover. Yes, I couldn't stand it at first, but after about a month it became second nature. Brutal but effective.
   Good luck whatever you do, Hazza!