Broken wings

[Lauraw_uk]

Hi everyone,

i came across your site at 2 am the other night, after stressing out because my b/f went out, and didnt come home till four, when he told me he was coming at 2!!!... this just isnt right!! its ruined my weekend - he thinks it cos i think he is with other women, its totally not my issue, i just cant put my finger on what it actually is!!
i moved down here 6 months ago, thinking the sea air and a new start would rid me of my depression/anxiety and i dont know why im suprised its followed me again!!
people tell me i have nothing to stress about, that im pretty, intelligent and that my life is brilliant, so why the hell dont i see it that way!!

This weekend I am broken, Im finding it hard to jump and start flying again. I feel like I cant see the people ive made friends with because im not good like them, or relaxed or easy going like them.
I want to be ok when he goes out, i want to be ok on my own, i just want to be ok... not great just ok, but I cant seem to manage for more than a few days before i fracture everything that is around me.

I wonder why im not thirsty with all the water I have shed in my tears!!

think i just need to be told that its ok to feel the way i feel (i know its not - but thats my job to sort out, not anyone elses!!!)
i feel like i am the strangest most horrible human being to have ever been created, and i fail to see my purpose after years of trying.


sorry for the utterly miserable introduction, youve caught me on a bad day!! ha ha

L x

[Dreaming]

hi lauraw_uk, I know exactly where you are coming from with this one! i do worry to obsessive proportions when my girlfriend goes out - even though i do truley believe she'd never cheat me on me, there is just something that really bothers me, the not coming back when she says she will? the total lack of control - not knowing if she is safe? i have no clue what it is and its the main reason i joined this forum! i really do know how broken, let down, isolated, angry and frustrated you are feeling - its exactly how i feel when she goes out! i have no words of wisdom but just wanted to say hi and let you know that you're not alone and it is ok to feel the way you do. try to be good to yourself and not beat yourself up too much about it all. stressfree thoughts to you, Mia

[Alexandra]

think i just need to be told that its ok to feel the way i feel (i know its not - but thats my job to sort out, not anyone elses!!!)

It is ok to feel the way you're feeling. But of course, it's one thing to know this in your mind and another to actually believe it. I think acceptance that you are the way you are is a big thing in dealing with problems like this. It took me forever to understand who I am and how my mind works, to realise that there's no magic wand to take away my problems and make me 'better', and to also accept that I am who I am, and that it's ok to be a little different

Of course all this doesn't help so much when you're panicking and the world's closing in and your heart is pounding and you've got all this adrenaline building up but no where to put it! There are ways to learn to deal with this though, and it takes practise and time to find out what works for you.

And trust me, you certainly aren't the strangest and most horrible human being to have ever been created

Welcome to the forum, hope to see you at a meet sometime!

[Lauraw_uk]

thanks people

i know its my mind and actually there is nothing to worry about, i just dont know why i cant make it go away... i also know i need to stop trying to make it go away as im giving my feelings too much attention!!
it is nice to know there are a group of people here that understand and feel similar.

Lx