Hi there, guess you've partly answered your question - bullying and depression do take their toll and well can take a while to turn around but think perhaps in that turning around some useful things can be learnt about ourselves - like what we're willing to accept and not-accept in our relationships and examining our perceptions and expectations about ourselves, others and the world. I know all sounds a bit therapy-speak but I'm currently on that 'journey' (another cliche
).
Perhaps, not surprisingly for an anxious individual, you're being hard on yourself? it might seem at the moment as if your
unable to form social relationships
and perhaps applying that thought to previous experiences - as in have you never made a friend or had any social relationship? bit CBT but it helps to identify those forms of unhelpful thinking we can be prone to when being anxious or depressed (like black and white thinking). Sometimes I think the whole 'desperate' state we find ourselves getting into can almost become self-prophesising, it's almost like other people can smell the desperation and it acts as a very effective deterrent
So when will this armchair psychologist give me some proper fail-proof advice that can be easily followed? as i said earlier I'm journeying too but what I'm learning is that i need to look after number one and sometimes that means not following the crowd and learning to be comfortable in my own skin and sometimes questioning reasons why I do things and looking at other choices - opening up the world rather than closing it down! Hopefully with that sense of comfort within ones own skin we become a positive beacon to others to seek out and be open to our friendship? only a bit of a half-baked theory and not an instant solution but it's keeping me going.
Maybe if you feel able to you could try coming along to one of our meets? people are friendly and interested in eachothers well-being, non-judgemental and it's a comfortable place to both talk about anxieties and depression - we even manage to have a laugh
