Its all too much !!!!

[mistere]

Just can't see a way out of this mess I am in. Imminent job loss due to absence mainly due to SA and Agoraphobia which will lead to an unpaid mortgage and finally repossession.
Worrying myself sick about the impact this will have on my family and I will have little chance of getting another job (if I'm up to it) at 49. Has anyone else been in this situation who can offer any positive advice.
I hate myself for being weak. 

[ghost of mr bob]

Hi Mistere,

You are not being weak. In fact it takes great strength to be open about mental distress.

First and foremost you need to visit your GP and explain as much as you can (if you haven't already).

I'm not a home owner but have googled mortgage interest payments. If you do end up claiming benefits, either for sickness or jobseeking there does seem there may be support to pay the interest on a mortgage so that you will not get thrown out.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/ManagingDebt/DebtsAndArrears/DG_10013261

I suggest you contact MIND and ask them for some help and advice.

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/mind_in_your_area/203

There are people out there who will help you! Sometimes it doesn't happen straight away as they are under resourced but there will be many people, myself included who not only think that by the sound of it you need support but that you thoroughly deserve support. Nobody will want you to see you homeless with your family in a bed and breakfast. There is help out there for you and you have every right to ask for it.

hope this helps, GoMB

[cyclegirl]

Hey there,

Hope you're ok. I've not personally been in your position but am never far away from it and can sympathise with the worry and anxiety this brings. You are most definitely NOT weak and its not your fault. Trick is to get the help you need to manage what is happening, so I def agree with ghost of mr bob about seeing your GP first and foremost.

There are various resources as has already been pointed out including Mind. Brighton Housing Trust can help with housing and benefit concerns / advice and prob signpost you to more specific services as needed:

'BHT provides a range of specialist legal advice in housing, immigration, welfare benefits and debt at our advice centres in Brighton, Eastbourne and Hastings.'

BHT Brighton Advice
Tel: 01273 234737

BHT Eastbourne Advice
Tel: 01323 642615

BHT Hastings Advice
Tel: 01424 452634

Try to be kind to yourself and take each step at a time.

Best wishes x

[stresspuppy]

Hi Mistere, I agree with the other posts - you're not weak, just in a very difficult situation and the fear of any dominating concern without good advice can feel like too much to handle.

Excellent advice from the others the only other thing I might suggest is visiting citizens advice:
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

Think being proactive in this situation might help alleviate some of your fears. I'm aware you suffer from SA and Agoraphobia and this might be worth explaining to anyone who offers you an appointment you feel unable to make. If you feel up to it or someone you live with is able to accompany you here is my experience of the 'drop-in' at the Citizens Advice at Hove town hall:

Get there early - say 8.30/8.45 - the queue starts early despite them not opening till 9/9.15  - you're then allocated a number for a 1:1 with an advisor - Note they only have 15 appointment slots so it's worth the queue. They give good impartial advice and will give you a further appointment if they feel it's appropriate which it sounds it is. They were able to signpost me to a specialist debt agency (payplan.com) who were able to clearly explain a range of financial options available about debt.

Hopefully one or more of the routes we've signposted will open up some choices and alleviate some of the anxieties. Stay strong and try to recognise this as a temporary situation. I know from personal experience how hard this must be for you and please try to have faith that things might not be as bad as your imagining just now.

[Maritza]

You will get through this!
When you have feelings of panic the key is definitely acceptance and knowlege that panic connot harm you
I often use the AWARE analogy
A - Accept and Acknowledge - it may not feel pleasant but accept it is happening and stay in place, don't fight it or distract yourself. allow yourself to feel the feelings and know they will pass
W - Wait and watch...stay in place and observe your symptoms, talk to yourself about what is happening - take notes as an observor
A-Actions to make you more comfortable - belly / deep breathing, focus again on the task in hand, the present moment
R -Repeat the process if need be
E - End - remind yourself the attack will end - all of them do!
I highly recommend The Panic Attacks workbook by Dr David Carbonell - it has a no nonsense approach which you can use on a daily basis to overcome anxiety and panic.
Hope that helps
Maritza